This song was written partially for myself but more so for others whom I love who have overlooked a monumental and fundamental part of life, Self love. I have always been deeply self reflective, throughout most of my young-adult to adult life. I would steal myself away in my room for hours and days on end, consuming music, art and words like a sponge. There were nights where I wouldn't sleep and just listen to as many songs as possible from Paleo's (David Strackany's) Song Diary. I scoured deviant art and watched dozens of silent films. It was that moment of childhood where everything was new and amazing and you just soaked it all up and took it all to heart. I would analyze every word, what it meant to me and what I meant to myself. I took the lyrics of every song I listened to and turned them in on myself. I measured myself up to every protagonist in every movie. I thought about the how's and why's of every drawing and painting. And the biggest thing was that I did this alone. Utterly alone. No girlfriend, no friends. I took to art to find myself and understand myself. This is the concept that I think is important to living, loving yourself, understanding yourself, and accepting yourself. I believe that only after you have spent an agonizing amount of time alone can you learn to love others. So many people that I care about haven't learned to love themselves be it mentally or physically because they are terrified to be alone. They jump from job to job, house to house, relationship to relationship, one thing to the next never taking time to focus on themselves, to stare at themselves naked and alone in a mirror for hours.
lyrics
Giving the searchlights a minute or two
to hesitate,
stayin' lost for a little while.
Making some time for contemplation,
breathing in the shadow of a shadow.
Stitch up my cuts and get back in again.
I speak quietest when I'm with you.
But I'm the loudest when I'm alone.
I've tried to keep in good company.
But you're not better until
you're comfortable alone.
Stop saying no, but thinking yes,
I've got to get out of my own head.
I've got to listen my friends.
I speak quietest when I'm with you.
But I'm the loudest when I'm alone.
If all you can see is a fucking pit,
you gotta believe, you gotta believe...
(I never said that I'm sorry, but I know,
that I'll leave and when I come back,
I wont remember anything at all.)
Jealous and fucking, loving or fighting,
we're struggling, we're living,
we're barely surviving.
We've done it all, and we done none of it.
If all you can see is a fucking pit,
you gotta believe,you gotta believe,
that this lousy weather...
That it will quit.
Vince - Vocals
Nic - Guitar
Tinkey - Drums
Samuel - Bass
What started
as two acquaintances just coming together to play a house show, quickly turned into four dudes making music in a crowded dank basement in Chicago. Otto Mann is honest, open hearted, quick to temper and occasionally belligerently gushy. We write music for the kids we used to be and the idiots we've now become....more
A three piece band that does their own thing and remains as some of the nicest and most talented folks in Chicago. No other band mixes stories about day jobs, drinking, and life so well. Mike Petruccelli
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