This song, which was written last on this album, is a kind of franken-song. The lyrics were used from songs Nic and I had written and scrapped in Otto Mann and BoomBros. The lyrics and parts were switched around, re-written, buried in dirt for 6 months than dug back up again. What came out of it was a song I wrote in order to cope with the bleakness of certain parts of my life, in this case most specifically, my job. I empathize and sympathize with anyone who is stuck in a dead end job, corporate job, or Mc-Job that does not give them any sense of worth in life. And contrary to that, anyone who doesn't have a job, or is at a crossroads in any aspect of their life, be it in relationships, creatively, spiritually, etc. My biggest pet peeve is wasted time. Wasted time waiting on someone or something, wasted time being dormant, not creating or not accelerating and achieving anything. It is a great fear in my life to become one of those people who looks back and wonders where the last 15 years went. When parts of my life are stuck in suspension, I become depressed and shut out the world outside. For myself, I have always had to pave my own way in creating change, creating opportunity or pushing what parts of my life I want to push forward, If I stay dormant than my life is dormant. Which is why I absolutely hate when anyone says "everything happens for a reason." I don't believe in fate or a higher power and that is a non-committal bullshit phrase that shelves responsibility for the situation to some universal non-existent thing, we are all responsible for our own actions and reactions. If anyone says that to you tell them to go fuck Santa Clause.
My palms are callused
my knuckles are more cuts than skin,
I feel I'm turning into dust.
Sweep me up and burn me with the leaves of Fall.
Am I your mirage?
Or are you my demon after all?
Too much multi tasking
these spinning plates will crash and fall,
spreading shards along my path
down this already too dark hall.
Suddenly you made a promise to yourself
you know that you cant keep at all.
Waste away all my time
and everything's killing me.
If you never try than you wont fail.
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